I’m sitting at my desk on a regular day, doing my work, taking part in my online midweek service, while thinking of new ways to improve my content when the Holy Spirit whispered this post title to me. The thought was, “Have you told your readers the importance of marrying someone you are spiritually compatible with? You really need to talk about that.”
As a believer, be mindful that the devil never gives up and is constantly in a battle for your soul. Don’t give him room by dating an unbeliever. The bible strictly warns against being unequally yoked. Depending on who is dominant in the relationship, one is bound to pull the other up or down. I’d say avoid it as much as possible.
– Winifred Ben
As a divorced single mum, one of my biggest challenges as a creator is to keep my life private for the sake of being trolled by people on social media… you know, the regular, “people don’t show their bad days (or bad experiences) on social media.” However, for some reason, I can’t help it when I see people in or walking into relationships or marriages that are potentially dangerous.
So I said that to say this, I’m here to help because I want to help. Also because God has not called us into a life of shame and reproach, so I refuse to let shame (of divorce) stop me from being a blessing to my world.
Now, speaking of marriage and spirituality, it will be great to shed some light on the importance of considering you and your partner’s spiritual compatibility while deciding to move your courtship to the next level. This is because I’ve been there and it is a terribly lonely experience. Some days are lonely, other days are boring, while other days you and your significant other will fight over your commitment…so it is a no no for me. Hence I definitely won’t recommend it for another person.
In the case of a believer verses an unbeliever, I won’t actually encourage it any day… “Don’t, bother. Don’t do it”.
As a believer, be mindful that the devil never gives up and is constantly in a battle for your soul. Don’t give him room by dating an unbeliever. The bible strictly warns against being unequally yoked. Depending on who is dominant in the relationship, one person is bound to pull the other up or down. Hence, I’d say, avoid it as much as possible.
Five Importance of Marrying Someone Who Is Spiritually Compatible With You
- You’ll find encouragement & strength in each other. The bible in Proverbs 27:17 says, ‘As iron sharpens iron, So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.” One of the challenges I had in my twenty-something years dating was never finding someone who was spiritually compatible with me so I ended up marrying someone who was neither hot nor cold, and of course the consequence was a divorce. Yes! I have seen people who swear it is possible to have a happy marriage even though you are not both afire for God. Trust me, it is never as easy as it is for a couple that are unified in their passion for the things of God. Imagine having issues in church or struggling with your faith due to a hurtful experience. If your partner is not strong or is not even a child of God, imagine how they will make your situation worse. Everyday in Christianity is not rosy, and so, it is important to have an equal yoke by your side to strengthen you.
- You’ll have the same vision. This is important because your level in your walk with God definitely affects your goals. From plans in ministry, life, how to raise kids, etc. This is why they say in Christian marriages that “Jesus Christ is the center and the head.” It is then expected that every decision you make as a couple is founded in God’s word or what the Holy Spirit directs. If you are not spiritually compatible, you will have difficulty or contradictory opinions on several subjects.
- You need Support: Imagine being a chorister and needing to be in church at least 4 times a week for rehearsals, Sunday service and midweek service and your partner believes the only day you should be in church is on Sunday. That’s a MAJOR setback in your music ministry, right? Now just imagine different scenarios; retreats, camp meeting, conventions, etc. imagine your spouse never supports your ambitions as Christian man/woman. This can dwindle your growth, it can cause depression and wreck your marriage, so why not avoid it.
- A prayer partner. I know that on your own, you can make so much power available in prayer, but the bible says, “one will chase a thousand and two shall chase ten thousands.” (Joshua 23:10) I don’t know about others, but I want my spouse to be my prayer partner. The scripture in Matthew 18:19 says, “Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven.” When you pray together, your strength is multiplied and your results are increased.
- Sharing: I already mentioned that it is lonely when you feel like you are on your own spiritually in marriage. I experienced it. In those days, I remember returning home from church and not having anyone to share the excitement of the message (teachings) from the Pastor, or share a testimony with or even share a spiritual concern with. My ex-husband, then, had a way of either not being interested or trivialize whatever I was worried about. It was difficult and this also put a strain on our relationship.
How to discover if your partner is spiritually compatible with you
Communication and observation. Those are the only two ways. Talk about it. From your first date, while you are dating (considering you make it to subsequent ones), in your jokes, etc. other times, visit each others church (except your are both in the same church), understand the messages that form His/her values, etc. look out for level of commitment, who they are outside church, etc. these things will help you figure out if you can say, “I do” and take on forever with your significant other.
Other helpful posts:
Why spiritual compatibility is just as important as sexual compatibility
Please share to anyone who needs to read this.